A feeling in simple words:
Finish school. Graduate. Find a job. Get your own place. Relax. Fall into your own love. Fall into your solitude.
No more abuse. No more being cast aside. No more fear. No more tears. No more unbelonging. No more suffocation. No more pleas. No more pain. No more harsh, unfair, unnecessary words. No more anger. No more raised voices. No more tiptoeing. No more shields. No more walls. No more pointless drama. No more games. No more heartache. No more exhaustion. No more thinning of my soul. No more violence. No more violations. No more disappointing people. No more trust broken. No more starvation. No more manipulation. No more taking advantage. No. More.
Love with others is out of the question. I'm just trying to find somewhere to survive on my own first. Other people are slippery, flaky, loyalty wavers like an unsteady home. But my kingdom within me is strong, a place to fall back on. Children? Only exist within me, morphed into spirits. I will carry them inside me until I die. I am a mother without my own children. As it should be, the world tells me... Seen through me, little glazed lane. There are no eyes that commit, so let my eyes commit to myself instead.